Chapter 18

 

     John DeSoto sat on the examination table in Treatment Room 3 with his shirt off. Doctor Early had listened to John’s heart and lungs, looked into his ears and nose, palpitated the child’s abdomen and rib cage, and checked his reflexes. The doctor then held up two fingers, then one finger, and then three fingers, each time asking John to tell him how many fingers he counted. When all proved to be as it should, the doctor removed the bandage that Brett had put on the boy’s head and looked at the gash that had stopped bleeding sometime before John arrived at Rampart.  So far, the only injuries Joe Early had noted on the child other than the head wound, were minor cuts and bruises.

 

     The doctor dipped a cotton swab in hydrogen peroxide and swabbed the wound. Roy stood next to the table, while Doctor Early asked John questions that would help him determine if the boy had suffered a more serious head injury than was readily apparent.

 

     “Did you fall asleep, John?”

 

     “Not since I went to bed at Uncle Johnny’s last night.”

 

     The doctor chuckled. “So you didn’t fall asleep after the board hit you on the head?”

 

     “Doctor Early, I didn’t have time to fall asleep. I had to run real fast to get my daddy so he could help Uncle Johnny.”

 

     “Well now, that does sound like an important reason to stay awake.”

 

     “It was.”

 

     The man put the cotton swab in the garbage, then pulled the edges of John’s wound together with a few butterfly strips, and put a fresh white bandage over his handiwork. Doctor Early took his penlight out of his pocket and checked the reaction of John’s pupils to the light.

 

     “Okay, young man, can you tell me your full name?”

 

     “You mean what Daddy calls me when I’m in trouble?”

 

     “That’s exactly what I mean.”

 

     “John Walker DeSoto.”

 

     “And what’s your brother’s name?”

 

     “Christopher. Only we call him Chris.”

 

     “And your sister’s name?”

 

     “Jennifer. Sometimes we call her Jenny.”

 

     The doctor put his penlight back in the pocket of his lab coat. He gently grasped John’s chin and held the boy’s head in place.

 

     “Follow my finger with your eyes, John, but don’t move your head.”

 

     “Are you gonna make it go in circles so I’m cross-eyed?”

 

     “I don’t plan to.  Do you want me to?”

 

     “It might be kinda funny.”

 

     “It sure might be, but how about if I just stick with my normal routine?”

 

     “Will Doctor Brackett get mad at you if you don’t?”

 

     “Mmmm. He just might be a little upset with me if you walk out of here cross-eyed.”

 

“In that case, whatever you wanna do is okay with me.”

 

     “Well thank you, Doctor DeSoto.”

 

     The boy giggled. “You’re welcome.”

    

     John’s eyes followed Doctor Early’s finger first up, then down, then side to side. 

 

     “John, what’s your favorite cartoon?”

 

     “That’s easy. Transformers. Do you like that one, Doctor Early?”

 

     Doctor Early chuckled as he released John’s chin and stepped back from the table. “I don’t believe I’ve ever seen it.”

 

     “You should watch it sometime. It’s good.”

 

     “I’ll have to take your word on that. Okay, young man, one last question. When’s your birthday?”

 

     “It was last Wednesday. January sixteenth. I had three birthday parties.  At the first one, my friends, Josh,

Katie, Matthew, Corey, Nicole, Adam, and Jason were there. At the second one, my grandma Desoto, Grandma and Grandpa Stellman, and Aunt Eileen were there. And then Uncle Johnny came to my third one. Chris and Jenny were there, and my mom and--”

 

“Okay, John,” Roy said, “that’s enough.”

 

Joe Early smiled.  “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with your memory, John DeSoto.”

 

“Nope, there’s not. I remember stuff real good.”

 

“And repeats most of what he hears, too,” Roy intoned dryly.

 

Doctor Early looked at Roy.  “He’s fine, Roy. There’s no need for stitches, and you said he’s current with his tetanus vaccine, so I don’t foresee any problems. If he would complain of dizziness in the next forty-eight hours, or double vision, or have a bout of vomiting, then bring him right in.  Otherwise, just keep that head wound clean. In a week or two, you won’t be able to find any signs of it.”

 

“Thanks, Doctor Early.

 

“You’re welcome.” 

 

Joe patted John’s knee.

 

“John, you can put your shirt on and get out of here. After everything that happened today, I’d say you’re one very brave young man.”

 

“I cried at first.  When the people were stepping on Uncle Johnny, I was cryin’ ‘cause I wanted to help him, but he was on top of me so those people couldn’t step on me, too.  Uncle Johnny kept telling me it was gonna be okay, and that we’d go home soon. But then the bleachers started to fall, and Uncle Johnny pushed me out from underneath the tent.  He couldn’t get out, so I had to get help for him.” 

 

     “And you did a good job of it, too. I bet your dad is proud of you.”

 

     “I sure am,” Roy said, while he helped his son slip his camouflage shirt over his head.

 

There was a knock on the door, and then Dixie poked her head in.

 

“I have an anxious mother out here who would like to see a young man named John DeSoto.”

 

“Send her in, Dix,” Doctor Early instructed.

 

As Joanne stepped into the room to John’s joyous, “Mommy!” Dixie looked at Roy.

 

“You can see Johnny for a few minutes before he’s taken for the CT scan Doctor Brackett ordered.”

 

“Thanks, Dixie.”

 

Roy waited for his wife to finish hugging John, then lifted the boy off of the table.

 

“Do you mind taking him to the waiting room?” Roy asked Joanne. “I’ll meet you two there when I’m done talking to Johnny.”

 

“All right,” Joanne agreed. She took her son by the hand and looked down at him. “In the meantime, John can fill me in on what happened today.”

 

“Boy, Mom, do I have a heckuva lot to tell you, too.”

 

“I just bet you do.”

 

“Know what?”

 

“No. What?”

 

“Every minute with Uncle Johnny is like one giant adventure.”

 

“Believe me, John,” Joanne agreed, “your mom has learned that by now.”

 

The boy looked up at his father. “Tell Uncle Johnny I said hi, okay?”

 

“I’ll tell him.”

 

“And tell him I’ll see ‘bout gettin’ him that lady acrobat for a present.”

 

“The who?” Joanne questioned.

 

“Never mind,” Roy said. “Chalk it up to Johnny being Johnny, and don’t ask any more questions.”

 

The family parted ways in the hall. Joanne took John to the waiting area, while Roy entered Treatment Room 2.

 

__________________

 

 

     Dixie was with Johnny when Roy walked in. The woman looked up when the door opened.

 

     “Roy’s here, Johnny, so I’m going to the nurses’ station. He’ll stay with you until the orderlies arrive.”

 

     “All right. Thanks, Dix.”

 

     “You’re welcome. If I don’t see you before I go home, I’ll stop in and see you tomorrow if Doctor Brackett admits you tonight.”

 

     “Okay.”

 

     Roy glanced at his watch. Dixie’s shift should have ended several hours ago.

 

     “What are you still doing here?”

 

     “I was assisting Kel with a patient and wasn’t able to leave when I normally do. Then the incident at the circus happened, and we were told we might be receiving a large number of casualties, so I stuck around.

 

     “Did you get a lot of victims?”

 

     “Some, but Harbor General and Cambridge Medical Center took patients as well, so in the end it wasn’t as overwhelming as it could have been.  Other than our friend Johnny here, most of what we saw was minor. Sprained ankles, a few asthma attacks, some broken fingers, a couple of hysterical kids who were hyperventilating, along with an hysterical grandmother who was certain she was having a heart attack until Joe was able to assure her she wasn’t - things of that nature.”

 

     “Not as bad as it could have been then.”

 

     “No, not as bad it could have been, given the mob scene Johnny told me about.” 

    

     The woman headed for the door with Johnny’s folded clothing in one hand, and his tennis shoes in the other. She looked at Roy, while indicating to Johnny with a slight nod of her head.

 

“If you need me, I’ll be at the desk for another ten minutes or so. I’ll put these clothes and Johnny’s personal items in a bag. You can pick it up when you pass by.”

 

     “Okay. Thanks, Dix.”

 

     After Dixie left the room, Roy approached the examination table.  Johnny was still on the backboard, still had an IV of Ringers running to a vein, and was still wearing the C-collar. He was covered to mid-chest with a sheet. Dixie had cleaned his face as best she could, but all the care in the world couldn’t take away the black eye and bruises.  They would have to heal in their own time, as would his split lower lip.

 

“So, what’s the good word?”

 

     Johnny’s eyes searched his friend out. His voice was a little stronger now, and he didn’t seem to be fighting as much pain while he talked. Roy assumed both of those things meant Brackett had determined Johnny hadn’t suffered a concussion, and had therefore given him some sort of pain reliever.

 

“The good word is, I’m not paralyzed.  That’s about all I know right now, though. I’ve had enough X-rays to make me glow in the dark, but Brackett hasn’t said much about them yet. He was gonna consult with Doctor Early on them, and with some orthopedic surgeon...don’t remember what he said the guy’s name was.” 

 

“Is Brackett gonna see you later?”

 

     “Yeah. After the CT scan is done, which I hope is soon, ‘cause I’d like to get off this backboard and get rid of this damn collar.”

 

     “It won’t be that much longer,” Roy assured, though in truth, he had no idea how long it might be before Johnny was more comfortable than he was at the moment.

 

     “How’s John?”

 

     “Fine. Doctor Early looked at him. Doesn’t even need stitches.”

 

     “Good.”

 

     “Johnny...thanks. Thanks a lot for taking care of John, and for getting him out of that tent before the bleachers--”

 

     “You’d better not thank me before you hear what I did.”

 

     “What you did?”

 

     “Yeah. I mean, since you’re already pissed at me, I might as well tell you that I bought John a hotdog, bought him some useless trinkets, and let him have a soda.  I didn’t let him climb the trapeze, though.”

 

     Roy smiled. “Thanks.”

 

     “Thanks?”

 

     “Yeah. Thanks. I’m sure you made John’s day.”

 

     “He was havin’ a good time...up until the end, a’ course.”

 

     “I don’t think anyone had a good time at the end.”

 

     “Yeah, I coulda’ done without it.”

 

     “I’m sure you could have.”

 

     “The elephant trainer...did I hear someone say he was dead?”

 

     “Yeah. It looked like the tent’s main support pole hit him in the back of the head when it fell.”

 

     “He was abusing that animal.”

 

     “One of the elephants?”

 

     “Yeah.”

 

     “Did you see him do it?”

     “No, but by the way she was acting in the ring, I’m pretty certain he was.”

 

     “I’m sure there’ll be an investigation.  It will all come out, if that was the case.”

 

     “Yeah. Probably.”

 

     The men fell silent for a moment. When the quiet was broken, it was Johnny who spoke.

 

     “Roy?”

 

     “Yeah?”

 

     “About this thing with Chris, I--”

 

     “We’ll talk about it later.”

 

     “But--”

    

     “Later, Johnny. We’ll talk about it when you’re feeling better, and when you can turn your head and look at me.”

 

     “And when I can stand up.”

 

     “If that’s the way you want it.”

 

     “I hate having conversations when I’m staring at the ceiling ‘cause I’m strapped to a backboard. Puts me at a psychological disadvantage.”

 

     “You’re always at a psychological disadvantage.”

 

     “Even if I was in the mood to laugh, that doesn’t strike me as funny.”

 

     “It doesn’t, huh?”

     “No.”

 

     As the door opened and two orderlies pushing a gurney entered, Roy laid a hand on his friend’s shoulder.

 

     “I’d better get out of here. I’ll pick up your stuff from Dix, and then wait until Doctor Brackett can tell me if he’s keeping you overnight, or if he’s releasing you.”

 

     “You don’t have to wait around. Take John and go home.”

 

     “No, we’ll stay.  Joanne’s here now, so we’ll get something to eat while we wait.”

 

     “All right. But if you change your mind, go on. If Brackett releases me, I can call someone and get a ride home.”

 

     “I’m sure you can, but as long as we’re here, it seems kind of foolish for you to have to do that.”

 

     “Wouldn’t be the first time you’ve accused me of bein’ foolish.”

 

     “No, and it probably won’t be the last,” were Roy’s final words as he departed the room.

 

     Johnny was moved to the gurney, and within seconds was on his way to have the CT scan Kelly Brackett had ordered.                  

 

__________________

 

 

     John DeSoto was sleeping in his father’s arms at a cafeteria table, when Doctor Brackett located Roy and Joanne much later that evening. The family had eaten, and Joanne had called Chris at work, and Jennifer at the home where she was baby-sitting, to tell them what had happened. She didn’t want them seeing the story of the rampage on the news, and then worrying when they couldn’t reach her. The woman had assured her older children that John was fine, then told them Johnny had been injured, and that she and their father were waiting at Rampart for word on his condition.

 

Doctor Brackett greeted Roy and Joanne. Roy indicated to the empty chair on his right.

 

“Doc, have a seat. Can we buy you dinner?”

 

     “No, but thanks for the offer.”

 

     The doctor smiled at the sleeping boy. “I see John’s none the worse for wear after his big day.”

 

Roy’s eyes dropped to his son’s face. The boy was sleeping so soundly that Roy doubted he’d wake up when he was carried to the car, nor when he was carried from the car, to the house, to his bed.

 

“No, he doesn’t appear to be, but that’s our John.” Roy brought his gaze back to Kelly Brackett. “What about the other John who was involved in this big day?”

 

 

     “When I tell you he’s bruised from head to toe, I’m not lying.”

 

     Roy nodded. “I saw.”

 

     “Along with the bruises, Johnny has three cracked ribs, a gash on the back of his head that took fifteen stitches to close, and a lumbar fracture.”

 

     “Where?”

 

     “L-5.”

 

     Joanne stopped the men. “What’s that mean?”

 

     “It means a vertebra in his lower back is broken,” the doctor explained.  “Johnny thinks it happened while he was being trampled.”

 

     “Is the fracture stable?” Roy questioned.

 

     “It appears so.  I had Joe Early examine Johnny and look at the test results, and had Cliff Anderson - an orthopedic surgeon, do the same. We can’t find indications of spinal cord damage or nerve damage, but there are some tests Joe wants to do in the morning just to be on the safe side.”

 

     “Does this fracture mean surgery?” Joanne asked.

 

     “Not at this time.  Unless Doctor Early finds more damage than what we’ve uncovered so far, surgery won’t be necessary if Johnny follows the regime he’ll be given before he leaves here.”

 

     “What will that be?”

 

     “No strenuous exercise or heavy physical labor during his recovery period, which will last four to six weeks, and then going easy on strenuous activity for several months afterward. We’re going to fit him with a back brace tomorrow. When he’s had a chance to recover a bit, he’ll undergo physical therapy as an outpatient, and have exercises to do at home as well. Along with that, he’ll be instructed to walk two or three miles a day.”

 

     “So, he’ll be all right given time?”   

    

     “Yes, Joanne, he should be all right given time,” Brackett confirmed. “Between the bruises, his ribs, and the back injury, Johnny will be uncomfortable for the next couple of weeks, but if I know him, he’ll be complaining about the brace an hour after they put it on him.”

 

     “You know him,” Roy said dryly. “You’re keeping him overnight then.”

 

     “Yes. He’s had something to eat, and he’s been given a sedative that should allow him to sleep through the night relatively pain free.”

 

     “How long will he have to stay?”

 

     “If the results from the tests Joe wants done indicate no complications, then Johnny can go home after he’s fitted with the brace. I’m on duty tomorrow, so give me a call around one o’clock. I should be able to tell you by then if I’m releasing him.”

 

     “All right.”

 

     “Can we see him for just a minute before we leave?” Joanne asked.

 

     “He’s probably asleep by now.”

 

     “Oh, okay. We’ll wait until tomorrow then.”

 

     “That would be best,” the doctor told Roy’s wife. “Besides, it’s late, and I’m willing to bet the two of you would like to be sleeping just as soundly as young John is there.”

 

     “I’m about ready for that,” Roy agreed, considering it was a few minutes after eleven.  Without disturbing John’s slumber, Roy stood. “Thanks for comin’ to talk to us, Doctor Brackett. I know you were ready to call it a day hours ago, too.”

 

     “Well, Roy, as is true of your job and mine both, it comes with the territory sometimes.”

 

Joanne smiled and spoke before her husband had the chance to. “It sure does.”

 

The woman picked up the bag that held Johnny’s clothes, shoes, watch, wallet, pocketknife, and loose change, and carried it as she walked beside the men.  Doctor Brackett bid the DeSotos a final goodbye as he turned down the corridor that would take him to his office.  Roy and Joanne continued walking to the exit.  When they arrived at Joanne’s car, she unlocked the rear passenger door. Roy bent inside the vehicle and propped John up on the seat. The boy awoke as Roy was fastening his seat belt. He was groggy, and his heavy eyelids blinked slowly with exhaustion. When he spoke, Roy had to listen hard to decipher his slow, mumbled words.

 

“Daddy, I sure had fun with Uncle Johnny today.”

 

“You did, huh?”

 

“Yeah. And he took good care a’ me, too, when all those people were steppin’ on him.”

 

As John slipped into slumber again, Roy placed a light kiss on his forehead and murmured, “I know he did, John. And Daddy’s grateful for that.”

 

Roy stood and got in the passenger side of the car. Joanne drove to Station 26, where Roy picked up his Porsche.  He followed his wife home, and carried John to his bedroom. When Joanne insisted that Roy go to bed, too, he didn’t argue with her. 

 

“I’ll get John’s pajamas on him, and then stay up and wait for Mr. Owens to drop Jennifer off,” Joanne said. “She should be home within thirty minutes.”

 

“Which is thirty minutes longer than I’m going to be awake.”

 

“That’s what I thought.”

 

Roy kissed his wife, and then made his way down the hall to the master bedroom. He didn’t hear Jennifer come in when the teen arrived from her baby-sitting job, nor did he hear Chris come home ten minutes after that. Roy also slept through the conversation his teenagers had with Joanne at the kitchen table regarding Johnny’s condition, and the events that had happened at the Benton Brothers Circus.

 

Roy had woken that morning with a lot of concerns regarding his oldest son, and a good deal of anger aimed at his best friend. Now he slept soundly due to the fact that his youngest son was safe thanks to John Gage, which proved to Roy that life is indeed, full of contradictions.

 

 

Chapter 19

 

     Joanne was still sleeping on Sunday morning when Roy put his bathrobe on over his pajama bottoms, and shoved his feet into his slippers. He exited the bedroom, quietly closing the door behind him.

 

     Roy poked his head into Chris’s room.  The door was open, but there was no sign of his oldest son.  The bed was made, and there was nothing out of place, which indicated to Roy that Chris had been up for a while.

 

     Jennifer’s bedroom door was still closed as Roy passed by, as was John’s. It was six-thirty. Roy knew his youngest would be up by seven, and then the Sunday morning quiet would be a thing of the past.

 

     Chris was putting a cereal bowl, small plate, and spoon in the dishwasher. Roy’s heart beat a little faster when he took note that his son was wearing a jacket, had his tennis shoes on, and had a packed gym bag and backpack setting on the counter top.

 

Roy’s greeting was quiet, and just a little uncertain.

 

“Morning, Chris.”

 

Chris shut the dishwasher’s door, straightened, and gave his dad a hesitant smile. Though father and son had brokered a truce on Friday evening, this was the first time they’d been together since Roy was forced to accept Chris’s career choice.

 

 “Hi. I started coffee if you want some.”

 

“Thanks. You ate already?”

 

“Yeah. Had some cereal and toast.”

 

“You don’t work today, do you?”

 

Roy already knew the answer to that question. Bill Mattson’s business wasn’t open on Sundays.  However, Roy thought this was the easiest way to get some answers from Chris regarding where he was going.

 

 “No, I’m not working. I’m gonna stay at Uncle Johnny’s for a while.”

 

Roy hesitated a long moment before saying, “Oh. I see.”

 

You have no one to blame but yourself for this, Roy. You pushed Chris into doing this when you wouldn’t give him your support...when you didn’t tell him that his choice of careers is exactly that – his choice, not yours.

 

“Mom told me that Johnny has a fractured vertebra and some cracked ribs, so I know he won’t be able to do much for a while. Someone has to take care of the animals until he can get around better, and he’ll probably need help walking the first few days he’s home, so I thought I’d stay with him until he’s doing okay on his own.”

 

“That’s all?”

 

“What’s all?”

 

“That’s the only reason?”

 

“Yeah. What other reason would there be?”

 

“Um...none, I guess,” Roy smiled. “None at all.”

 

     “I was going to leave you and Mom a note, but as long as you’re up, would you let her know where I am?”

 

     “Sure. If we find out Johnny’s being released today, then I’m guessing your mother will cook a week’s worth of food and bring it to you to put in Johnny’s refrigerator.”

 

     Chris chuckled. “I’m sure she will.”

 

     “If Johnny’s not released, I’ll call you and let you know.  If he is, then you’ll see us sometime this afternoon.”

 

     “All right.”

 

     “Oh, and we’ll have to get Johnny’s Land Rover from the circus grounds sometime today, too.”

 

     “That’s fine,” Chris said. “Just give me a call at Johnny’s and let me know what time you wanna do that.”

 

     “Okay.”

 

     Roy watched as Chris threw his backpack over one shoulder, and his gym bag over the other. Suddenly, any remnants of the boy who had been Christopher DeSoto were gone, and had finally been replaced by a man in Roy’s eyes.  A man who had taken it upon himself to assist Johnny these next few weeks, and a man who was certainly capable of deciding what he wanted to do with his life, even though Roy still harbored hope Chris would yet change his mind and return to college.

 

     Despite that hope, Roy reached out and pulled his oldest child into his arms. He hugged the young man and said softly, “I’m proud of you, Chris.”

 

     Roy was hugged in return, and heard Chris’s own soft words of, “Thanks, Dad. It means a lot to hear you say that.”

 

     As Chris headed toward the door in the laundry room that led to the garage, Roy said, “Chris?”

 

     Chris turned around. “Yeah?”

 

     “You’ll be back, right?”

 

     Chris smiled and nodded. “Yeah, Dad, I’ll be back.”

 

     Roy stood in the middle of the kitchen staring after his son, until Chris entered the garage and closed the door behind him.  Sometimes, as a parent, you wished your children would never grow up. As Roy watched his oldest spread his wings and begin to fly, this was one of those times when he wished he could have kept Chris a little boy forever.

 

     Roy was lost in nostalgia, and heavily mired in melancholy, as he poured his first cup of coffee.  He heard a loud, “Rooooar! I’m a lion at the circus!” The pictures on the wall shook as John’s running feet pounded against the floor.  

 

     John danced around the room while opening every cabinet in an attempt to decide what he wanted for breakfast.  He kept up a steady stream of conversation with his soft-spoken father, and paid no attention to the fact that he was doing ninety-five percent of the talking.

 

     Roy shook his head and smiled at his lively youngest. This time his thoughts were the opposite of what they’d been a few minutes earlier.

 

And sometimes, as a parent, you don’t think your kids can grow up fast enough.

 

Upon having those thoughts, Roy Desoto was once again reminded that life is full of contradictions. 

 

Maybe the older your kids get, the more you have to learn to roll with the punches. The man put a bowl of Cheerios in front of John and tousled the boy’s hair. Maybe Daddy just has to learn to roll with the punches.

 

While Roy sat and ate breakfast with his youngest child that morning, he thought back to all the mornings when he’d done the same with Chris and Jennifer. 

 

When Joanne and Jennifer joined Roy and John at the table, Joanne wasn’t sure why her husband was smiling, but she didn’t ask either. She kissed the bald spot on the back of his head as she passed by on her way to the coffee pot. She was glad to see Roy’s demeanor had changed for the better. Not even Jennifer’s mention of wanting to date Brad Hall could completely erase Roy’s smile.

 

“So, does that mean yes?”

 

Roy looked at his daughter over the rim of his coffee cup. 

 

“Does what mean yes?”

 

“Does your smile mean I can go out with Brad?”

 

“No, that’s not what it means.”

 

“Daaaaad!”

 

Roy stood to put his cup and empty plate in the dishwasher. He paused on his way to the kitchen and kissed Jennifer’s forehead.

 

“My smile means that your dad is remembering when you were a little girl.”

 

“And what does that have to do with Brad Hall?”

 

Roy’s smile broadened to a grin. “That’s the beauty of it, Jennifer.  Nothing.  It has absolutely nothing to do with Brad Hall.”

 

Roy ignored his daughter’s second rendition of her drawn out, whiney, “Daaaad!” as he headed to the master bathroom to shower and shave.  The nice thing about being wrapped in nostalgia was that you could close the bathroom door and keep that nostalgia with you for as long as the hot water lasted.

 

 

 

Chapter 20

 

 

     Roy strolled into Rampart at three o’clock on Sunday afternoon. Like he had predicted to Chris, Joanne had spent the morning cooking. At the same time Roy had left for Rampart, Joanne, Jennifer, and John had left for Johnny’s ranch, where Joanne said they’d clean what needed cleaning, wash what needed washing, put away what needed putting away, and have supper on the table at six.

 

Roy carried the same bag Dixie had handed him the evening before.  Joanne had washed Johnny’s clothes, and had put a shirt of Roy’s in the bag for Johnny to wear, since his shirt had been cut off at the scene by Brett.

 

 

     Roy stopped at the ER nurses’ desk and got Johnny’s room number from Dixie.

 

     “I suppose he’s ready to go.”

 

     Dixie snorted. “Ready to go? I’m surprised he hasn’t walked out of here by himself, and I’m surprised Kel hasn’t let him.”

 

Roy smiled.  “He’s been complaining about the back brace, huh?”

 

“Non-stop since they put it on him.”

 

“How long do you give him before he’s not wearing it any more?”

 

“Longer than I would have if Joe hadn’t laid it on the line to Johnny a little while ago.”

 

“Laid it on the line?”

 

“He told Johnny he’s fortunate not to need surgery, but that if he does something foolish, like take that brace off for more than showering during the next four weeks, then he might be facing surgery yet.”

 

“Guess I’d better go collect him and take him home.”

 

“The nurses on the fourth floor will be eternally grateful to you.”

 

Roy chuckled. “All right. I’ll see how quickly I can get him out of their hair.”

 

The captain gave Dixie a wave and a, “See ya,’ Dix,” as he headed for the elevator.

 

When Roy entered Johnny’s room five minutes later, he did a double take.  His friend was dressed in blue jeans, socks, tennis shoes, and a denim shirt.  He was sitting in a chair reading the newspaper with the erect bearing of a general about to map out a new D-day strategy for his subordinates.  Roy couldn’t see the brace, since it worn under the patient’s shirt. For all Johnny’s reported complaining, Roy also knew it was nothing like the corset-style back braces that were used some years earlier.  It was light weight, easy to get on and off, and fairly comfortable...though Roy supposed Johnny would argue that last point, which was exactly why Roy had no intention of mentioning it.

 

The blue, black, and molten red bruises on Johnny’s face were out in full force today, and his blackened left eye was swollen halfway shut.  If Johnny’s erect bearing made him look like a general, then his bruises made him look like a soldier who’d fought the fiercest battle of the war...and lost.

 

Roy let the door swing shut behind him, while stating the obvious.  “You’re dressed.”

 

“Usually I am by three o’clock in the afternoon.”

 

Roy held up the bag he carried. “What I mean is, I have your clothes in here. Joanne washed ‘em and sent along one of my shirts for you.”

 

“Which shirt?”

 

“Which shirt?”

 

“Yeah. Which shirt?”

 

Roy opened the bag and looked inside. “My green one with the yellow stripes.”

 

“I don’t like that shirt. The colors are all wrong for me. It would make me look like a parrot.”

 

“A parrot?”

 

“Yeah. And in my opinion, it doesn’t look so hot on you, either.”

 

“What do you mean it doesn’t look...” Roy let his sentence trail off, as he realized that John Gage had once again led him down the path of absurdity.

 

“Obviously, it doesn’t matter,” Roy said as he closed the bag.  “Looks like someone brought you some clothes.”

 

“Chris.”

 

“Oh. He stopped by?”

 

“Yeah, he was here around noon. I’m supposed to tell you that there’s no need to worry about getting my Rover home. Chris and Dean were takin’ care of it for me after Chris left here.”

 

The ‘Dean’ Johnny was referring to was Chris’s closest friend.

 

“That was nice of them.”

 

“Sure was.” Johnny folded his newspaper and set it in his lap, since reaching for the bedside table would be too painful from his current position. He paused a moment, before looking Roy in the eye and saying, “He’s a good boy, Roy.  A good man.”

 

“I know.”

 

“I...I realize you’re disappointed about his decision to drop out of college, and I’m sorry about that. I really am.

But--”

 

Roy held up his hand. “We’ve been over all of this enough, wouldn’t ya’ say?”

 

Johnny sized his friend up, but was still left uncertain as to what Roy was thinking.

 

“Depends on what you say, I guess.”

 

“Then I say we’ve been over it enough. Chris and me. You and me and Chris.  You and me. Any way you look at it, we’ve talked it out.”

 

“So...you’re okay with his decision?”

 

“No, I’m not okay with his decision, Johnny, but thanks to something you said to me on Thursday afternoon, I’ve come to accept it.”

 

“What’d I say?”

 

“You reminded me of the importance of being able to hug my kids.”

 

Johnny hesitated before giving a small nod.

 

Roy waited a moment, but when his friend didn’t speak, he said, “And listen, I’m sorry for calling you a hotdog. I didn’t mean that.”

 

Johnny fought to keep from smiling. “Maybe not even a little bit?”

 

Roy caught the twinkle in the man’s eyes. “Well...maybe just a little bit.”

 

“That’s okay. In my younger days, I could be a cocky son of a bitch...and a hotdog, when I wanted to be.”

 

Roy laughed. “In your younger days?”

 

“Yeah, in my younger days.”

 

Roy let the subject drop there. He wasn’t going to debate this one with Johnny, or they’d be here all afternoon.

 

“And I know I said I didn’t want you to be Chris’s instructor, but--”

 

Johnny grinned as much as his sore face would allow. “But you know he won’t have a better teacher than me.”

 

“Something like that. And by the way, you still are a cocky son of a bitch.”

 

Roy left the room to get a wheelchair before his friend could respond.  When he returned, he pushed the chair next to the one Johnny was seated in and set the brake.

 

“Ready to go?”

 

“You bet.”

 

“Do you have any paperwork to sign?”

 

“No. One of the nurses brought it to me about twenty minutes before you got here.”

 

“Mmmm. They must be anxious to get rid of you.”

 

“Seem to be. I don’t know why though.”

 

Roy turned away a brief second so Johnny wouldn’t see his smile, then took the newspaper from the man’s lap. He helped Johnny stand and make the transfer from the stationary chair to the wheelchair. The paramedic chief grimaced at the movement.

 

“Is your back bothering you?”

 

“Yeah. It hurts worse after I’ve been sitting for a while, believe it or not.”

 

“I believe it,” Roy said. Back injuries were a double-edged sword.  It hurt to move, but the more you sat, the more stiff and inflamed your muscles became, which was why the physical therapists would have Johnny taking a daily walk as soon as it was feasible. “Do you need to stop at a pharmacy and get anything filled?”

 

“No.” Johnny patted his shirt pocket, where a bottle of pills resided. “Dixie got the pain killer for me that Brackett prescribed, so I’m all set.”     

 

Roy held up the newspaper. “You want me to throw this away, or do want it in the bag with your clothes?”

 

“In the bag with my clothes. Doctor Early brought it to me. It’s got all the coverage in it on what happened at the circus. Have you seen it yet?”

 

     “I read it this morning.” Roy put the newspaper in the bag, then set the bag in Johnny’s lap.  “What a mess, huh?”

 

     “Yeah,” Johnny agreed. He knew his friend was referring to the allegations of animal abuse by the elephant trainer, the trainer’s death, the stampede by elephants and humans, and all the carnage that had followed. “I bet lawyers will be sniffing around soon, trying to instigate lawsuits.”

 

     “I’m sure of it,” Roy said.  “Oh, and speaking of the circus, when John sees you in a little while, he plans to tell you that he wants to go to the circus again for his birthday next year, but that he wants to wait until all the people leave before you two get out of your seats.”

 

     Johnny chuckled. “My namesake is one smart little guy.”

 

     Roy nodded as he thought of what John had done the previous day in order to get help to Johnny.  “Yes, he is.”

 

     “Must take after his mother,” Johnny teased.

 

     “I’m sure Joanne would tell you that’s the case.”

 

     Before Roy walked to the back of the wheelchair, he crouched in front of his friend and laid a hand on Johnny’s knee.

 

     “Thanks for taking care of John yesterday.”

 

     “You already thanked me.”

 

     “I know, but at the time you were on a backboard and couldn’t turn your head to look at me, so now I’m thanking you again.”

 

     “You don’t need to.”

 

     “Yes, I do. So just say you’re welcome, all right?”

 

     “You’re welcome.”

 

     “And now I want you to make me a promise.”

 

     “Anything,” Johnny said, without inquiring first as to what type of promise Roy was going to extract from him.

 

     “You took care of my youngest son for me yesterday, now I’m asking that you take care of my oldest son.  There are a lotta reasons why I’d rather see Chris go into almost any other line of work but ours, and first and foremost is because I don’t want to see him injured in the line of duty.  I worry about that a lot, Johnny. I know you won’t always be the person Chris reports to, but while you are...during the time period he’s training in the field with you, take care of him for me, okay?  Promise you’ll take care of him.”

 

     “I promise, Roy. I won’t let anything happen to Chris. I promise I won’t.”

 

     Roy nodded. “Fair enough.”

 

     The man stood and walked around to the back of the wheelchair. He released the brake, grasped the handles, and pushed the chair toward the door.  It wouldn’t be until much later that Roy would realize he never should have requested that Johnny promise to keep Chris safe, and Johnny should have never vowed that he would.  But because neither man had the power to see into the future, they didn’t know on this day in mid-January of 1985, how that promise would eventually destroy their friendship for a longer period of time than either could have imagined possible given how close they were.

 

     Because Roy couldn’t see into the future, he smiled as he opened the door.

 

“Whatta ya’ say we head to your place where my wife has a pot roast cooking for us, and has your refrigerator stocked with enough food to last you and Chris the rest of the month?”

 

     “I’d say that sounds good.”

 

     Roy pushed the wheelchair to the elevator. He pressed the button that had an arrow pointing down, and when the doors slid open turned around and backed the wheelchair into the car.

 

     Roy had known it would be difficult for Johnny to get into his low-slung Porsche, so had left it at home. Instead, he’d brought the station wagon he’d bought used from a guy at Station 44 shortly after John was born. It took a little work on the parts of both men to get Johnny into the vehicle and seated so the ride would be fairly comfortable for him, but by working together they managed to do so.

 

After Roy got Johnny settled, he took the wheelchair back to the lobby. When Roy climbed into the vehicle, Johnny’s voice caused him to pause in the act of putting the key into the ignition.

 

“Hey, Roy?”

 

“What?”

 

“Thanks.”

 

Roy looked at his friend.  “For what?”

 

“Well, I could say for picking me up today and taking me home.  Or I could say for your wife making sure Chris and I will eat like kings for the next few weeks. Or I could say for raising a good kid who took it upon himself to take care of my animals this morning, and has volunteered to help me out until I’m gettin’ around better, but I guess what I really mean is...just thanks in general, ya’ know?”

 

Roy smiled. “Yeah, I know.”

 

Johnny waved a hand at the ignition. “Now go on and get us outta here.”

 

“Anxious to get home and grade those final exams your students took on Friday, are you?”

 

“Well, you know what they say.”

 

“What’s that?”

 

“Regardless of what’s happened, the show must go on.”

 

“Something you learned at the circus yesterday?”

 

Johnny chuckled. “Yeah, something I learned at the circus yesterday.”

 

Roy started the vehicle, looked over his shoulder, and then backed the station wagon out of the parking space.

 

     The two men talked the talk of old friends on the drive out to Johnny’s ranch.  It felt good to Roy...it felt right, as though this friendship was meant to last a lifetime.

 

     And in so many ways, it would last a lifetime, despite the horrific tragedy that lay ahead for both men. From that tragedy John Gage and Roy Desoto would ultimately learn just how strong their friendship was. It would take them fifteen long years of estrangement to find that out, but in the end, they would come together again and call one other “friend,” for the rest of their days, in every way that one simple word can encompass. 

 

 

Chapter 21

 

Heather spent the day with Samara and the other elephants.  Her mother didn’t know if that was a good idea.  She’d told Heather she was afraid Heather would get “too attached.”

 

“Mom, they’re my friends,” Heather had said in return. “I already am attached. I don’t have a choice now.  I have to do this for them.”

 

“Do what?

 

“Be...be with them until Mrs. Polston takes them away.  I have to be with them and make them understand that they’re going to a good place. A place where no one will hurt Samara again, or make them perform.”

 

     Heather’s mother said she didn’t see how Heather could make the elephants understand such things. After all, they were just...elephants. But when Heather’s father didn’t say anything other than, “Let Heather do what she thinks is best, Lynette,” the girl knew her father finally comprehended the bond she shared with the big mammals.

 

     When the massive trucks arrived at six o’clock that would take the elephants to their new home, Heather watched as they lumbered into the parking lot.  Lena Polston followed in her Ford Bronco.  The woman first spoke with Jack Benton, then sought out Heather.

 

     “Can you bring them one by one to the trucks, Heather?”

 

     “Yes.”

 

     It didn’t surprise Lena to see Heather leave Samara until last. The loading process took time. It was long after dark, and the other trucks had left for Lena’s refuge, before it was finally Samara’s turn.

 

     “She has a sister named Sakari,” Heather told Lena as they walked along beside Samara, the overhead floodlights illuminating the way. “Bhagi sold her to a zoo, but I don’t know which one. He had to in order to pay off the money he owed from gambling. That’s when Samara got really sad and wouldn’t perform anymore.  I...do you think you could find Sakari, Mrs. Polston, and put her on your refuge, too?”

 

     “I don’t know, Heather. It’s doubtful, but I can try.” The woman ran a hand over Heather’s hair. “I know of a situation where two elephants who had preformed together for a decade, and were then separated, were reunited after twenty years apart. They still knew one another even after all that time, and greeted each other like old friends. Maybe that will happen someday with Samara and Sakari, even if it doesn’t happen soon.”

 

     Heather smiled at the woman. “I’d like to hope it’ll happen.”

 

     “Believe me, Heather, there’s nothing wrong with hoping.”

 

     “Mrs. Polston, do you think I could run a wild life refuge when I’m grown up, just like you do?”

 

     “Given the knowledge you have from your years with the circus, I’m sure you can.”

 

     “I know it would cost a lot, but somehow I’ll make it work.”

 

     “I learned one thing a long time ago, Heather, that I’ll pass onto you.”

 

     “What’s that?”

 

     “If you want something badly enough, you can make it work. It won’t always be easy, but determination and desire go a long way in making our dreams come true.”

 

     “I’ll remember that.”

 

     The girl dug into the front pocket of her blue jeans. She handed Lena four folded twenty-dollar bills.

 

     “I want you to take this.”

 

     “Why?”

 

     “To put toward caring for Samara and the other girls. I know it’s not a lot considering how much they eat, but maybe it will help a little bit, huh?”

 

     “Every little bit helps, but I can’t take your money, sweetheart.”

 

     “Yes you can.  I worked for it, so I can do what I want with it. I asked my dad if I could give it to you, and he said it was all right.”

 

     “Are you sure?”

     “I’m sure.”

 

     “Thank you.”

 

     “No, thank you for coming to get Samara, and then for taking Madri, Chanda, and Kamala, too.  And thanks for not telling Mr. Benton that I called you.  I wanted to help Samara, but at the same time, I didn’t want my dad to lose his job.”

 

     Lena winked at the girl.  “Your secret will always be safe with me.” 

 

     As they reached the truck Samara would be loaded on, Lena said, “Heather, when you’re a little older, you give me a call. If you want to experience working on my sanctuary, and if you want to find out first hand if running a refuge really is what you’d like to do, then I’d love to teach you everything I know.”

 

     “Really? You mean that?”

 

     “I sure do.”

 

     Heather turned to Samara. “Did you hear that Samara? In a few years, you and I can be together again every day.”

 

     Samara gently brushed her trunk along the girl’s face, as if she’d understood every word that had been said. Though Heather was happy over the prospect of being reunited with her friend someday, she knew that the time had come for them to part ways for now. Heather buried her face in the elephant’s side and allowed her tears to flow.  Mrs. Polston and the men who were helping her stepped back so this could be a private goodbye.

 

     The girl lifted her face and looked Samara in the eye. She ran a hand over a big floppy ear and said softly, “I love you. You’re my best friend, and you always will be.  Some people think that’s weird, but I don’t care. You’ll be happy on Mrs. Polston’s refuge. I promise you will be.  Maybe someday you’ll even see Sakari again. If Mrs. Polston can’t find her and bring her to you, then when I’m older, I’ll try and find her.”

 

     Again, the elephant brushed her trunk over Heather’s face. In that one gesture Heather knew Samara was telling her that she understood, and that she appreciated all Heather had done for her.

 

     Heather assisted with getting Samara on the truck. She gave the elephant a final kiss and heartfelt goodbye, before climbing off so the thick, steel door could be secured.

 

     Heather hugged Mrs. Polston and thanked her one last time.  She stood in the parking lot, watching as the big truck and the Bronco prepared to depart.

 

     Mrs. Polston drove out of the gate first, with the truck driver following behind her.  The thick walls of the cargo vehicle prevented Heather from seeing all but the very top of Samara’s body, where it was visible through the four feet of open space for ventilation.  Heather smiled when she saw Samara’s trunk poke through the space.  It moved up and down until the truck was out of sight, as though the elephant was waving goodbye.  Heather waved goodbye in return, then dropped her hand and wiped at the tears running down her cheeks. 

 

     As Heather turned to head for her family’s trailer, she was secure in the knowledge that she’d see Samara again some day, and secure in the knowledge of what she was going to be when she grew up. And for a change, she wouldn’t even mind if Jay called her “elephant girl.” 

 

As a matter of fact, from now on, Heather would think of it as a compliment.

 

Chapter 22

 

     On Monday, February 18^th, Johnny stood in front of his new group of students.  Chris had moved back home after two and a half weeks of assisting on Johnny’s ranch.  By then, Johnny was getting around on his own fairly well.  When something came up that he physically couldn’t do yet, Johnny was able to get help from his neighbor, Bob Emery.

 

     Johnny still had to wear the hated brace, though he hoped to be rid of it sometime that week.  He was undergoing physical therapy, and was diligent about doing the exercises he’d been shown, and pursing the walking program his therapist had mapped out for him.  Johnny didn’t want his ability to remain an active duty paramedic to be jeopardized, and besides, he’d heard of too many guys who had been forced to retire early because of old back injuries that cropped up again as they aged. Doctor Early had told Johnny that if he did what he was told to in these early days after the injury, then that would go a long way in preventing problems as he grew older.

 

     Other than the fact that he was standing straight and tall behind his desk, Johnny knew no other signs of his injuries were visible to his students. The bruises had faded, the black eye was gone, and his split lip had healed. Fortunately, neither John Gage nor John DeSoto bore any scars from their experience. Young John hadn’t even suffered a bad dream as a result of the trauma, which Joanne and Roy found remarkable. Johnny had always known Roy’s youngest was gusty...far more gusty than Roy wanted him to be at times, so this news didn’t surprise Johnny at all.  He was glad John’s personality allowed him to look at the positives – he had gotten out of the tent and gotten help for his uncle Johnny.  John had focused on that, and because of reinforcement from Roy, Joanne, and Johnny, regarding what a brave thing John had done, the boy seemed to take the rest of the tragedy in stride.  He was already begging Johnny to take him to the circus for his next birthday, as Roy had said he would, and Johnny had promised John they’d go.

 

     Johnny glanced from the attendance book on his desk, to the fresh-faced students before him. For a moment, he allowed his mind to drift back thirteen years to when he was one of those fresh faced students, and a guy who looked an awful lot like Chris DeSoto, had assisted in teaching Johnny much of what he knew today.

 

     Johnny began the day by taking attendance.  When he was finished, he said, “All right. Let’s get started.  When you picked up your textbooks last week, you were to read the handout the department gave you on the history of the paramedic program. Uh...” Johnny looked down at his attendance book as though every name in it was brand new to him. “Uh...Mr. DeSoto?” 

 

From the middle seat in the third row, Chris put two fingers in the air. “Right here, Chief.”

 

Johnny made eye contact with the young man, but nothing about his demeanor would indicate he had known this particular student since the boy was five. Unless, of course, you were that boy, and therefore caught the slight twinkle in your instructor’s eye, as though a private joke was about to be played out.

 

“Can you summarize what that handout said for the rest of the class, please, in the event we have someone here who didn’t complete this very difficult and time consuming first assignment.” 

 

The class chuckled. When the group had quieted, Chris answered with a dutiful, “Yes, Chief Gage.”

 

Chris began to recite from memory, the history of the Los Angeles County paramedic program.  He didn’t have to refer to his handout even once, because after all, his father and his ‘uncle’ had been a part of that history. Now Chris wanted to be a part of it too, and he was determined to make his father proud by graduating first in his class.

 

     When Chris was finished, Johnny said, “Thank you, Mr. DeSoto. It’s obvious you know your stuff.”

 

     Chris shot Johnny a small smile. “That’s because I learned from the best.”

 

     Johnny nodded, and for just a moment, no other students were present. “That you did, Mr. DeSoto,” Johnny said, his words making reference solely to Roy. “That you did.”

 

     The paramedic chief broke his gaze from Chris and took in his entire class.

 

“All right, folks, let’s get started. I’m John Gage, and no matter what you’ve heard about me, none of it is true.”

 

     Johnny’s class laughed, and so began a new session with young, eager students who would come to look upon John Gage as teacher, mentor, and friend.

 

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Author’s Notes and Thanks: 

 

     If you have enjoyed stories in the Dances With Rattlesnakes series, then please watch for another ‘Dances’ story to be posted in 2003.

 

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The inspiration for this story came when I read an article regarding how circus children are educated as they travel. That aspect of circus life never did come into strong focus in The Show Must Go On, but other aspects did. When I first started writing this story, I had no strong feelings one way or another about performing animals. The more reading I did on the subject, the more I learned. As is often the case, there are two sides to every story, and people struggling on both sides of the proverbial fence in an effort to preserve something dear to them.  

 

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In the wake of the furor over use of wild animals in acts, and as a result of animal abuse that has occurred over the years, many circuses have dispensed with exotic animal acts.  The quote below is from an article written by Michael Winkler entitled, ‘The Ring Cycle.’  It exemplifies the no-win situation many small circuses find themselves in.

 

“The controversy about the animals, yes, that hurt us,” one circus owner concedes. “There are still people who say, ‘let's not go to the circus because they've got animals’ - but then there are other people saying, ‘we won't go to that circus, there aren't any animals.’ It's hard.”

 

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     Author, and Hollywood animal trainer, Pat Derby, gives a home to abused or abandoned performing animals at PAWWS – the Performing Animal Welfare Society.  You can visit the PAWWS website and learn more about Pat’s efforts by clicking on this link: PAWWS

 

 

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Thank you so much, Becca, Dina, Peggy, and Ria for answering questions in your various areas of expertise.

 

And thank you, Audrey, Donna, Jane L., Peggy, Susan, and Terri.  You always let me bounce more bizarre ideas and questions off of you than any women deserve to be subjected to.  Though I struck out when I asked if any of you had ever performed in a circus, trained elephants, or swallowed swords, I didn’t strike out where friendship is concerned.