ONCE UPON A TIME

 

By:  Kenda

 

*There’s a reference in this story to a fan fiction story entitled, A Journey Into The Past, by Brenda A.  To the best of my knowledge, A Journey Into The Past isn’t housed anywhere on the Internet.  It was an excellent story, and was based on the theory that A.J. was ten years old when his father died, and in the car when Jack Simon passed away as a result of injuries incurred that night.  Brenda wrote her story several years before the episode May The Road Rise Up aired.

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

     Cecilia Simon's kitchen was filled with tantalizing aromas on this Monday evening in early June.  She removed the hot casserole from the oven and replaced it with a small loaf of bread, then adjusted the temperature.  She bustled over to the table and set two places, then opened the refrigerator and pulled out the necessary items for a fresh garden salad. She washed her hands at the sink, then began to tear lettuce into a large wooden bowl. 

 

     The doorbell rang in the midst of all this activity.  The woman wiped her hands on a dishtowel and hurried to answer it. 

 

     Cecilia opened the door, smiling at her dinner guest.  "I'm so glad you could make it.  I was afraid you'd get tied up at the office."

 

     Abigail Marsh shook her head as she entered Cecilia's home.  "No.  I actually snuck out early for a change."

 

     Cecilia reached out for the pan Abby was carrying.  "Here, let me take that.  You shouldn't have brought anything.  I told you not to."

 

     Abby laid her purse on the small table that decorated Cecilia's foyer.  "I know you did.  But I wanted to anyway.  Besides, I don't get a chance to put my culinary skills to the test very often.  I enjoy whatever opportunities I get."

 

     Cecilia lifted the lid on the pan.  The brightly colored gelatin salad smelled of fresh strawberries and whipped cream.  "It looks delicious.  Sinfully delicious, as a matter of fact."

 

     The women walked to the kitchen.

 

       "It is.  I'm not even going to tell you everything that's in it.  It's hard to believe it's not a dessert.  It's that rich."

 

     "Well, one night every month or so doesn't hurt us," Cecilia dismissed as she set the salad on the kitchen counter.

 

       The friendship between Abigail Marsh and Cecilia Simon had grown to be a strong one despite their age difference, and despite the animosity that often existed between the police lieutenant and Cecilia's sons.  Cecilia had come to look upon Abby with fondness as the daughter she never had, while Abby viewed Cecilia as an experienced friend and confidant.  She was also willing to admit that she sometimes used Cecilia as a surrogate mother, considering her parents lived in Colorado and she didn't get a chance to see them more than once or twice a year.  The two women made it a point to meet once a month for either a girls’ night out, as they referred to it, or to have dinner at Cecilia's home or at Abby's condo.

 

     "What can I do to help?"  Abby asked.

 

     "You can finish making the salad while I check the bread I put in the oven a few minutes ago."

 

     Abby took over where Cecilia had left off with the salad, tearing the lettuce, then dicing tomatoes, cucumbers, and carrots.  She tossed everything thoroughly in the wooden salad bowl while Cecilia began carrying the rest of the meal to the table.  Serving spoons were sought out and glasses were filled with iced tea.  The women then sat down and began to converse with great animation in-between bites of their dinner.

 

     When they had both had their fill of the first course, Cecilia cleared the table of their dinner plates.  She uncovered a large chocolate cake iced with fudge frosting.  When she cut into it cherries oozed out the sides. 

 

     "Oh, Cecilia.  Black Forest cake," Abby practically drooled.  "You shouldn't have gone to all that trouble."

 

     Cecilia smiled while licking frosting off one finger.  "I don't mind.  Goodness, I haven't made one of these in years.  Not since Jack was alive I'll bet.  It was his favorite.  When you mentioned one day how much you loved it as well, I decided I'd look and see if I still had his mother's recipe."

 

     Abby accepted the plate Cecilia handed her.  "You must have found it."

 

     "I did," Cecilia confirmed as she poured coffee for both Abby and herself, then sat back down at the table.  "Jack's mother, Reba, was a wonderful cook.  When the boys were small we all used to gather at her house every Sunday after church for a big family meal."

 

     "Good memories?"  Abby asked.

 

     A soft smile touched the corners of Cecilia's mouth.  "Very good memories.  I couldn't have asked for a better mother-in-law.  Or a better grandmother for my sons.  When A.J. got to be, oh about sixteen or seventeen, he used to say, ‘Even though Grandma Simon has twenty-five grandchildren, she always makes each one of us feel as though we're special to her.  Like we're the only grandchild she's got.’  I thought that was a very fitting tribute to a very fine lady."

 

     "Wow.  Twenty-five grandchildren.  The Simon family is very prolific."

 

     Cecilia laughed.  "Jack was one of seven children.  His younger brother, Ray, was the only one who never had a family.  And, his oldest brother, Will, tipped the scale a bit.  He and his wife had ten.  Everyone else had either three or four.  Jack and I had the smallest family of them all with just Rick and A.J."

 

     "You told me one time that you had wanted more children.  If you don't mind my asking, why didn't you have any more?"

 

     Cecilia took a drink of warm coffee.  "I don't mind you asking.  Rick was born while Jack was in Europe during the war.  When he came home Rick was twenty-two months old.  There was quite a period of adjustment that all three of us had to go through as we tried to blend together as a family.  Jack and I had only lived as husband and wife for a month before he was shipped back to France.  I had hoped to get pregnant again not long after he returned home, but as time passed I came to realize that would be a mistake.  To Rick, Jack was a stranger who had intruded into his safe little world.  He kept telling Jack to go away."

 

     Abby laughed, matching this scene up with the headstrong Rick Simon that she knew today.

 

     Cecilia smiled.  "I can see that you understand what we went through.  Also, Jack's parents had owned a large two story home in what once was a very stately neighborhood here in San Diego.  They made a small apartment out of part of the upstairs for me when Jack went overseas.  They knocked the walls out of two bedrooms to make a combination living room, kitchenette and bedroom.  It afforded me some privacy, but basically Rick and I lived with them as we didn't have more than a hot plate in the tiny kitchen area, and the only bathroom available to us was in the main part of Mom and Dad Simon's home.  As you can imagine, Jack's parents tended to spoil Rick, as did Jack's brother Ray, who was only twelve when Rick was born.  So, when he came home from the war Jack had a son he didn't know who wanted no part of him, a young bride he hadn't seen in over two years, and to top it off we were all living in his parents' home.  Jack had a lot of pride.  Like Rick and A.J.  Living with his parents didn't set well with him.  He and his father could really get into it sometimes let me tell you.  We were fortunate in that Jack got a very good job.  We scrimped and saved for over a year to buy this house.  Of course, it didn't look like this then.  Actually. it was rather rundown and in need of a lot of work.  But, Jack fell in love with it and the big backyard, and insisted that it would be the perfect place to raise a whole houseful of children.  I had my doubts, but went along with it simply because I knew he and I and Rick had to get out of his parents' home and start our own lives together."

 

     "How old was Rick when you moved here?"

 

     Cecilia thought a moment.  "We moved here in August of 1947.  Rick would have been almost three and a half.  As the months passed, things began to get better between Jack and Rick.  Jack and I also finally had the privacy we had craved ever since he had returned from the war.  He became noticeably more relaxed and carefree.   Prior to moving here he had been so tense all the time, just like A.J. gets when he's upset over something.  So anyway, between those things, and with the new house and all, I felt it was time to work on giving Jack the houseful of children we both wanted.  In December of 1948 I found out that I was pregnant with A.J."  Cecilia smiled at the warm memory.  "I couldn't have given Jack a better Christmas present that year.  Or so he told me."

 

     "But then you never did have that houseful of children you wanted," Abby reminded.  "Don't tell me, let me guess.  You quickly came to the conclusion that the two you had were more than enough."

 

     Cecilia laughed.  "On many days they were, Abby.  Believe me.  But yes, I had planned to have more children after A.J.  As a matter of fact, I was hoping to be pregnant again by the time he was a year old.  But, the reason I never had any more children was because A.J.'s birth was a very difficult one.  I lost a lot of blood among other things.  The doctor thought for a few minutes that he might not be able to save either one of us.  A.J. was eight days old when he and I were released from the hospital.  My doctor came in to see me just as I had finished feeding A.J. on the day Jack was to bring us home.  It was the first time he broached the subject with me of not having any more children.  He strongly advised against it, saying I very likely would lose my life if I went through another difficult birth.  Of course, they didn't have the technology in those days that they do now you have to remember.  They couldn't predict as easily as they can today what might go wrong with a pregnancy.  After Bob, my doctor, left the room, I sat there in that rocking chair and literally sobbed my heart out while A.J. slept in my arms.  Well, after I'd had a good long cry I realized how foolish I was being.  Here I had a healthy, beautiful week old baby in my arms, and a healthy, handsome, precocious five-year-old waiting for me at home.   That was the last day I ever cried over what I couldn't have, and instead gave thanks for what I had."

 

       "And that's how you've lived your entire life," Abby stated with admiration.

 

     "That's how I've tried to live my life, Abby.  There's been times when it hasn't always been as easy as it sounds.  But, one thing I have learned in my sixty-six years on this earth is that everything happens for a reason.  When Jack died I was left with a ten-year-old and a fifteen-year-old to raise by myself.  If I'd had two or three more children like I had wanted after A.J. I would have been overwhelmed, both financially and emotionally.  A.J. had a very difficult time coping with Jack's death as I've probably told you before. He needed a lot of my time and attention.  And just by virtue of being fifteen, Rick needed a lot of my attention.  I was bound and determined my teenager wasn't going to run wild after his father's death like so many boys do who are raised by just their mothers.  I kept a tight rein on him.  But, of course, that took a lot of effort on my part.  It wasn't an easy job to do alone."

 

     Abby had seen enough heartbreaking results in her line of work of boys raised by a single mother.   "No, it's not an easy job to do alone," she agreed.  "I admire your strength, Cecilia."

 

     "Strength had nothing to do with it.  The fact of the matter was; I didn't have a choice.   That was the hand dealt me.   I had to play it out the best way I knew how."

 

     "If you don't tell your sons I said this I'll add, and with results you should be pleased with.  You raised two fine men, Cecilia."

 

     "I tend to think so.  Their old mother is quite proud of them."

 

     Abby smiled warmly.  "As they are of you.  You deserve all the credit for the close family you have today."

 

     Cecilia lifted one shoulder in a shrug.  "Oh, I don't know about that.  Sometimes, Abby, I think it was just plain old-fashioned good luck."

 

     "Well, I don't.  Parenting is hard work.  And single parenting even harder."

 

     "I can't deny that fact, dear.  As a matter of fact, I won't even try."

 

     Cecilia started to rise, but her friend motioned her to remain seated.   This time it was Abby who gathered up the dirty plates and silverware.  She rinsed them off in the sink like Cecilia had done earlier with the dinner dishes, then stacked them in the dishwasher.  Next she reached for the coffee pot and refilled both their cups before reseating herself.  The pot came to rest on a hot pad in the middle of the table so it would be available for further refills.

 

     "Let's sit and relax for a few more minutes," Abby suggested.  "We can clean up the rest of this mess in a little while."

 

     Cecilia was more than willing to go along with that.  She enjoyed it when she had a dinner guest to linger over coffee with. 

 

     The women skipped from one topic to the next for a little while before Abby asked, "Are you still seeing Doug?"

 

     Doug was Douglas Charles McKenna, a prominent San Diego attorney whom Cecilia had been dating on and off for over a year now.

 

     "On occasion."

 

     Abby eyed Cecilia over the rim of her coffee cup.  "What's that mean?"

 

     "It means we still enjoy one another's company, but haven't quite made it back to where we were before all that trouble between Doug and Rick."*

 

     "I thought you two had worked that out."

 

     "We have.  We're just not as...comfortable with each other as we once were.  Perhaps, with time, we will be again."

 

     "Do you hold it against Doug?  What he did to Rick in court that day, I mean."

 

     "No, Abby, I don't hold it against him.  Doug was doing his job as an attorney.  I understand that.  But he did bring up a subject that's a very sensitive one for Rick.  No matter how old my children are, I'm still their mother.   It hurts me when one of them hurts.  Regardless if that hurt is of a physical nature, or an emotional one as it was with Rick that day in court.  It's difficult for a mother to completely forgive someone who has caused her child pain."

 

     "But you did tell me Doug and Rick had made their peace over the entire issue," Abby reminded. 

 

     Cecilia nodded.  "They have.  The few times since that incident that Rick and Doug have been here together they've both been on their best behavior with one another."

 

     Abby hesitated a moment before asking, "Do you think that you and Doug will someday be as close as you once were?"

 

     Cecilia gave a teasing smile.  "Now just what are you trying to get at here, Abby?"

 

     Abby laughed.  "Well, you did tell me that you thought Doug was going to propose to you shortly before he and Rick had that falling out."

 

     "Yes, you're right.  It was a few weeks prior to that.  Right about the time the boys took the case that wound them and Doug up in court together.  Doug had made it a point of asking me to make dinner one evening and emphasized that I needed to invite the boys over as well.  When he arrived he was carrying a bottle of very expensive champagne, and wearing a silly little smile on his face.  He helped me finish up my supper preparations, and then we sat on the couch and relaxed a bit while we waited for Rick and A.J. to show up.  They were running late as usual, due to some job they had.

 

     "Doug and I were making small talk when suddenly he grew very serious and uncharacteristically nervous.  He kissed me, and then said, "Your boys being late gives me a chance to ask a question I don't know the answer to..," and that's when the door flew open and Rick and A.J. burst in apologizing and looking like they had just come from a Hawaiian luau."

 

     Abby couldn't help but laugh as she drew her conclusions.  "And so your sons, with their ever present knack for bad timing, interrupted a perfectly good marriage proposal."

 

     Cecilia began to laugh as well.  "I don't know for certain, but I surmise as much."

 

     Once the women's merriment had died down Abby said carefully, "You know, Doug's a very nice man.  You and he have a lot in common.  You move in the same social circles.  You have a number of mutual friends.   You're both very active.  Love to travel.  Share many of the same interests and hobbies.  And he seems to think a lot of Rick and A.J., and overall, they seem to think a lot of him."

 

     Cecilia's eyes twinkled.  "If I didn't know better, I'd accuse you of trying to coerce me into marriage."

 

     "No, no.  That's not it.  I'm just pointing out how much you two have in common.  I'm just saying that, maybe given some time, you can be as close as you once were."

 

     "I'm perfectly happy being single, Abby," Cecilia stated candidly.

 

     Abby fiddled with her coffee cup.  "Jack's been gone a long time, Cecilia.  Haven't you ever..."

 

     "Been lonely?"  Cecilia asked.  "Certainly I have.   But, I've been by myself for many years now.  I'm not sure I want to have to adjust to the whims and ways of another person.  I'm not sure I can."

 

     "I think you could."

 

     "Oh, probably," Cecilia gave in and acknowledged.   "If I really wanted to.  But marriage isn't easy, Abby.  A woman gives up a part of herself for the man in her life whether she wants to or not.  No matter how independent you are, it seems as though his wants and desires take precedence over yours.  Don't get me wrong. I'm not disavowing the union of marriage.  Jack was a wonderful husband and father.  But we had our ups and downs like most couples do.  He wasn't an easy man to live with at times.  Yet, I loved him very much.  As I know he loved me.  But, I haven't carried a torch for him all these years.  I'm not that foolish.  If I had really wanted to marry again I would have."

 

     "So, had Doug had the chance to ask you that night you would have turned him down?"

 

     Cecilia thought a moment.  "To be quite honest with you, I don't really know.  Actually, I was hoping a marriage proposal wasn't up his sleeve, although I knew perfectly well it was.  The champagne and the fact that he wanted the boys to be here so badly for dinner pretty much gave it away.  I know one thing. I wasn't ready to give him an answer right then.  As much as I would have hated to disappoint him, I would have had to tell him that I needed time to think on it.  What my answer would have ultimately been, I don't know.  I've often wondered that myself."

     Abby nodded thoughtfully. 

 

     "And what about you, Abigail?"  Cecilia gently teased.  "How many proposals have you turned down?" 

 

     Abby's face flushed pink.  "Oh...two or three.  And one of those was a very hard offer to refuse.  But, I realize now that it was for the best.  Someday...someday maybe there will be someone special whom I can't refuse."

 

     "There will be," Cecilia confirmed as if she knew something her friend didn't. 

 

     Abby refilled the coffee cups again, then turned the tables on Cecilia.  "And, Mrs. Simon, just how many proposals have you turned down over the years?"

 

     Cecilia gave a little chuckle.  "Oh, I've turned down my share.  As I get older and the male half of my peer group become widowers, my offers of marriage have drastically increased.  But believe me, most of them aren't worth mentioning."

 

     Abby laughed.  "So in all the years before Doug came along there was never anyone you were serious about?"

 

     The twinkle left Cecilia's eyes.  She looked off at some distant point beyond Abby's shoulder.  It took her a moment to reply. 

 

"As a matter of fact, Abby...yes, there was someone I was serious about one time.  Someone I was very serious about.  Someone I came very close to...marrying.  Someone I haven't thought about in years."

 

     Abby immediately noticed the change in her friend's demeanor.  "Cecilia...I'm sorry.  I didn't mean to bring up painful memories.  If I've intruded into territory that's none of my business I apologize for—“

 

     Cecilia came back from wherever in the past she had momentarily journeyed to.  She reached across the table and gave Abby's hand a motherly pat.  "The pain of the memories has eased with time, sweetie, like all painful memories do.  For the most part they're good memories now.  It's just that...like I said, I haven't thought of him in years."

 

     "He was special then?  You were in love with him?"

 

     Cecilia smiled softly and nodded.   "Oh, yes.  I was in love with him.  Very much in love with him."

    

 

 

Fall - 1966

 

 

     Though it was seven o'clock on a Thursday evening, the halls of Mission Bay High School were buzzing with activity.  It wasn't teenagers that filled the halls and classrooms tonight, however, but rather their parents.  This evening's parent-teacher conferences marked the end of the first quarter grading period.

 

     Cecilia Simon was wearing a casual, but becoming blue dress with a string of pearls at her neck.  She moved from classroom to classroom, spending time with each of A.J.'s teachers.  As usual, the reports on her youngest son were glowing.  His senior year was looking to be one of promise and great reward.  He was president of his class, in more sports and school activities than Cecilia could keep track of, and he was pulling A's in all his classes.  Cecilia couldn't have been more pleased or proud.

 

     Cecilia knew many of the parents in attendance tonight.  A.J. had gone to school with most of their children since kindergarten.  Time and time again her progress was stopped as she navigated the hallways.  She spent a few minutes visiting with friends and acquaintances.   Sentiments were running high that night as the parents of the seniors reminisced about the children they had watched grow up together. 

 

     "It seems like just yesterday we were sending them off to school for the first time.  And here they are, young adults already.  Where does the time go?"  Cecilia heard, and said herself, more than once. 

 

     Cecilia looked down at the little itinerary she had been given when she entered the building.  She strained to see the numbers above the doorways as she weaved her way in and out of the crowd.

 

     She stood on her tiptoes and craned her neck.  "Room 204, Room 204," she mumbled as she searched.

 

     "Excuse me?"  A deep voice intoned from behind.  "Are you looking for Room 204?" 

 

     Cecilia turned around.  She looked up into a pair of the palest blue eyes she had ever seen.  The handsome face was accented by a straight nose and strong, high cheekbones.  There was deep cleft in the man's chin, giving him a boyish appearance.     

 

     "Yes, I am," she smiled.

 

     An impish grin touched the corners of the man's mouth.  He pointed upward with an index finger.

 

     Cecilia followed the finger to the numbers above the doorway. 

 

     "Oh, I guess I've found it," she laughed.

 

     "I guess you have," the man smiled.  He held out his hand.  "I'm Bradford Holden, the keeper of this room, so to speak.  And also the calculus teacher.  And you are?"

 

     Cecilia shook the offered hand.  "Cecilia Simon."

 

     Mr. Holden's smile widened.  "You must be A.J.'s mother then.  Well, Mrs. Simon, it is a pleasure to meet you."  The man moved out of the doorway and indicated the way inside with a sweep of his hand.  "Please, come in and have a seat."

 

     Cecilia sat in the chair that had been placed next to the teacher's desk.   She subtly studied Bradford Holden while he turned the pages of his grade book and looked through the pile of student folders he had on his desk. 

 

     "I apologize for my disorganization," he said distractedly.  "I was running late tonight in getting back here.  I had to prepare supper for my daughters."

 

     "That's all right," Cecilia smiled at the bent head.    Curly hair the color of winter sand covered the bowed head.  Cecilia couldn't help but take note of the broad shoulders and chest that nicely filled out the tan corduroy sport coat, then tapered down to a trim waistline.

 

        "Ah, here it is," Mr. Holden said, finding A.J.'s folder near the bottom of the stack.

 

     Cecilia listened attentively for the next few minutes as the teacher showed her several of A.J.'s papers, then discussed his first quarter grade with her. 

 

     "Right now A.J.'s carrying an A average in calculus, Mrs. Simon.  Now that's quite an achievement on his part.  As you probably know, math is not one of his favorite subjects."

 

     Cecilia smiled.  "No, it's not.  It never has been.  My oldest son was the one who liked math.  Especially the more challenging equations that geometry and calculus brought.  A.J. works hard to keep his math grades up."

 

     "That says a lot for A.J.  Most kids, if they don't like a particular subject, will fail to try their best at it.  But A.J.'s not like that.  It seems to make him try even harder."

 

     Cecilia nodded.  "He expects a lot of himself.  Sometimes I'm afraid he's too hard on himself even."

 

     "Most overachievers are."

 

     "And you consider A.J. to be an overachiever?"

 

     "Yes.  Don't you?"

 

     "Yes," Cecilia agreed,  "I guess I do now that you ask." 

 

      "Don't get me wrong, Mrs. Simon.  That's not a bad thing.  Not by any means.  It's just that students like A.J. tend to put a lot of pressure on themselves.  They tend to need a bit more attention from their teachers and their parents than most other students do.  Sometimes they need to know it's okay to screw up once and a while if you will."

 

     Cecilia smiled.  "Believe me, Mr. Holden, I tell A.J. that all the time."

 

     The teacher returned Cecilia's smile.  "I'm glad to hear that, because I tell him the same thing.  But seriously, he's a great kid.  He's going to go far.  I wish I had more students like him.  He's very bright and inquisitive.  He's got a good sense of humor, and he's a joy to have in the classroom.  He's the kind of kid I went into teaching for."

 

     "Thank you, Mr. Holden.  I'll take that as a compliment."

 

     "Good, because it's intended to be one.  I'm sorry Mr. Simon couldn't be here tonight.  Make sure you tell him what I said.   Any father would be proud to have a son like A.J."

 

     "I'm sure my husband would be proud of A.J.  But he's no longer with us.  He was killed in a car accident seven years ago."

 

     The teacher's face flushed at the way he had put his foot in his mouth.  "Oh...I'm sorry.  I didn't know.  I--"

 

     Cecilia put the man at ease.  "You don't need to apologize, Mr. Holden.  As you said, you didn't know.  And you're right.  Jack would be very proud of A.J."

 

     "You've done a wonderful job of raising A.J. all by yourself," were the man's next words.  "How many other children do you have?  You said something about an older son?"

 

     "Yes.  Rick.  I just have the two boys."

 

     "Rick...Rick?" The man repeated as if in thought.  "I know I never taught your oldest son, but his name sounds familiar for some reason."

 

     Cecilia chuckled.  "Believe me, Mr. Holden, if you'd had my Rick, you'd remember him."

     "Oh...I see."

 

     "You'll have to ask Mrs. Bartlett about him sometime," Cecilia said with a twinkle in her eye.

 

     "Oh...that Rick Simon?   The Rick Simon who almost caused Elvira Bartlett to end her teaching career prematurely?"

 

     "So you do know him."

 

     "No, I don't.  But I've heard stories.  Your oldest son's name is still whispered in the teachers’ lounge.  Rumor has it that if you want to see Elvira Bartlett come down with a bad case of nerves, you just walk up behind her and utter, ‘Rick Simon,’ in her ear.  They claim that if you do that you have to peel her off the ceiling."                       

 

     Cecilia laughed again.  "It's a good thing for you that I possess a strong sense of humor where my oldest in concerned."

 

     "I guess it is," Mr. Holden laughed. 

 

     "How long have you taught here, Mr. Holden?  I don't recall you being here when Rick was a student."

 

     "I wasn't.  I spent most of my teaching career at Crestmont High.  This is my first year here at Mission Bay.  And call me Brad, please."

 

     "Only if you'll call me Cecilia."

 

     "Okay, Cecilia, you've got yourself a deal."

 

     "So what brought you to Mission Bay from Crestmont?" 

 

     "My wife died last January and--"

 

     "Oh...I'm so sorry to hear that.  You have my deepest sympathies."

 

     Brad gave a small, sad smile.  "Thank you.  It was...very sudden.  She had an aneurysm.  We didn't know, of course.  I left for work one morning and got a call at two o'clock that afternoon.  One of our neighbors saw her collapse as she walked out to get the mail.  She died the next day."

 

     "That must have been very difficult on you," Cecilia stated.  "You said something about daughters?"

 

     Brad nodded.  "Yes.  I have three.  They're the reason why I came here from Crestmont.  We only live a few miles from here, while Crestmont's clear across town.  In order for me to be closer to home I made the change in jobs."

 

     "How old are your girls?"

 

     For the first time since he mentioned his wife's death, Brad smiled.  "Linda's thirteen.  She's been a great help since her mother's death.  But I worry, you know?  That she's being forced to take on too many responsibilities for a girl who's only in the eighth grade.  But yet I need her to care for her younger sisters for me until I get home from work."

 

     "And how old are your younger daughters?"

 

     "Kathy...Kathleen is nine, and Susan, we call her Susie, Susie is six."

 

     "Just little girls," Cecilia said with sympathy.

 

     "Yes.  But here you are feeling sorry for me when you've been through the same thing.  How old were your sons when you lost your husband?"

 

     "A.J. had just turned ten and Rick was fifteen."

 

     "So you know exactly what I'm going through."

 

     "Yes, I do. I know how hard it is.  And I understand the worries and concerns you're facing.  Believe me, Brad, I've been there.  I used to worry that my Rick was being forced to take on responsibilities that no fifteen-year-old should have to shoulder.  He became the man of the family long before he should have.  And like your Linda, to a certain extent he took on parenting duties in regards to A.J."

 

     Seeking reassurance, Brad asked, "But Rick turned out all right, didn't he?" 

 

     Cecilia chuckled.  "Well now, that depends on who you ask.  Mrs. Bartlett might tell you otherwise, but yes, in my opinion Rick turned out just fine.  He's a very different personality from A.J.  No one would ever accuse Richard Simon of being an overachiever, but I couldn't love him more than I do.  I'm just as proud of him as I am of A.J."

 

     "And A.J.?  He seems to have adjusted fine.  I mean, for being just a boy when his father died."

 

     "He's had a hard time of it.  I won't lie to you.  You see, A.J. was in the car with his father when the accident occurred."

 

     Brad's eyes clearly reflected his pain at this statement.  "How tragic."

 

     "Yes, it was.  The car went down a ravine.  It was several hours before it was spotted and help arrived.  Jack was...killed instantly.  A.J. was trapped in the car with his father the entire time."

 

     "And he knew?  That his father was--"

 

     "Yes.  He knew.  It's taken him a long time to work through that.  Sometimes I think it still bothers him, though he rarely talks about it.  For over a year after Jack's death he was plagued by nightmares and severe headaches.  Fortunately, I was able to keep myself together for his sake and give him the attention and time he needed.  Rick was wonderful with him, as well.  Somehow we all got through it, though when I look back now and recall those dark days of that first year I wonder how we ever did it."

 

     "I know just what you mean.  Jean's been gone ten months now.  It's been ten months of hell.  My Kathy still cries for her mother, and Susie just doesn't seem to understand that Jean will never come back.  She often asks when Mommy's coming home.  Linda...well, Linda seems to have lost her childhood.  She's so quiet.  So concerned about me.  I wonder if it will ever get better for any of us."

 

     "It will," Cecilia assured softly.  "You just have to give it time.  If I can give you any piece of advice, Brad, it's don't deny yourself or your daughters the right to grieve.  Don't let anyone else tell you when the mourning period should officially come to an end.  Each one of us decides that in our own time.  Including the children.  Someday you'll hear them laugh again like they laughed before their mother died, and you'll find yourself laughing with them.  When that day comes you'll know that you've all taken a little step closer to healing."

 

     Brad stared into Cecilia's face for the longest time.  He found sympathy, sincerity and peace there.  

 

     "I believe you," he said softly. 

 

     The two held each other's eyes, neither one growing embarrassed or uncomfortable with the other's scrutiny.

 

     Voices at the door broke the spell.  Several parents were waiting to see Mr. Holden.

 

     As if her hand had been caught in the cookie jar, Cecilia quickly rose. 

 

     "Thank you for your time, Mr. Holden.  And for your nice words about A.J."

 

     Brad stood on his lean six foot tall frame and shook Cecilia's hand.  "My pleasure, Mrs. Simon."   Just above a whisper he asked hesitantly,  "Can we...talk some more sometime soon?"

 

     "Well...yes," came Cecilia's hesitant reply.  "I guess so."

 

     "How about Saturday night?"

 

     "This Saturday night?"

 

     "Yes...unless you have plans, of course."

 

     Cecilia shook her head.  "No...no, I don't have any plans.  This Saturday night would be fine."

 

     "I know of a nice quiet restaurant down on the bay.  The food's good and the atmosphere is conducive to private conversation."

 

     "That would be fine."

 

     "I'll call you tomorrow night to set the time."

 

     "Okay," Cecilia nodded.  "I'm in the phone book.  I should be home all evening."

 

     "I'll call you around nine o'clock.  Things are usually pretty quiet around my house by then.  The younger girls will be in bed, and Linda has a slumber party she's going to."

 

     "That's fine.  I'll look forward to hearing from you," was how Cecilia left things right before she exited the room.  She wondered if the look on her face gave away the fact that she'd just made a date with her son's teacher. 

 

     Don't be silly, Cecilia admonished herself as she slowly jostled her way through the crowd toward the exit.  Goodness, it's just an innocent evening out.  He's a recent widower and he's found someone he has something in common with.  Someone who can understand the pain he and his children are going through.  You've dated handsome men since Jack died.  You've always had a nice time and that was the end of it.  That's all this is going to be, so quit acting like a sixteen-year-old schoolgirl. 

 

______________________

    

    

     Brad picked Cecilia up promptly at seven thirty on Saturday evening.  She had him step in for a moment while she gathered up her purse and coat.

 

     The teacher's eyes roamed the large formal dining room, living room combination that made up the front of Cecilia's house. 

 

     "You have a lovely home," he complimented.

 

     "Thank you."

 

     His gaze came to rest upon the stairway that he presumed led up to the bedrooms.  "Is A.J. home?"

 

     "No.  He left about an hour ago.  He's got a date this evening too."

 

     Brad took Cecilia's coat from her and held it open.  "Did you tell him that you were seeing me?"

 

     Cecilia turned in the act of slipping her arms into the sleeves.  "I didn't put it in quite those terms.  'Seeing' tends to imply a serious, long-term relationship.  Wouldn't you say, Mr. Holden?"

 

     Brad felt his cheeks grow warm at his obvious guffaw.  "Uh...yes.  I guess you're right.  It does."